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They have overcome their fears of rejection and know that they can handle whatever comes their way. Understanding others is the key to understanding themselves. Giving love allows the Wounded Child to feel and receive the love of others freely and unconditionally because they have learned to love who they are enough to share that love with others.
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The Wounded Child gains the sense of connection and belonging that they felt was denied them, when they can be who they truly are and to be authentic and real. Many a Wounded Child has felt ashamed of their wound, that it makes them less of a person when in reality it makes them more. They have more to give, more understanding and more tenderness, rather than less. The wound when properly recognized and confronted becomes a light of hope to themselves and the rest of the world.
When transformed from the shadow to the light the Wounded Child archetype is a powerful example of the resiliency of the human spirit. They are open, tender, vulnerable and wise. Their life experience has taught them that the pain that once dominated their life is the source of their compassion, their insight, depth and wisdom.
Crossing Over from Pain to Peace Thresholds. The Wounded Child may have been: Bullied by siblings or schoolmates Lost a parent or an important adult to death or some other separation Severely injured or handicapped Illness or other medical issues Sexual abuse or rape particularly at a young age Physical, emotional, verbal or other forms of abuse Witness to a traumatic event Neglect or abandonment The pain from this childhood wound will replay itself over and over in the adult life until the trauma or wound is tended to and healed.
The Need neediness for Validation The Shadow Wounded Child has an intense need to have the wound or sufferings validated. An interest in or connection to emergency personnel such as doctors, paramedics or rescue workers Wanting to be hospitalized or to be rescued from danger Desire to have something terrible happen to you but not too terrible Having physical scars or creating your own scarring Being ill or having health concerns Feeling sorry for others sufferings Turning away from relationships and investing in animals instead Depression and the Shadow Wounded Child One of the most common experiences for the Shadow Wounded Child is depression.
The Enlightened Wounded Child Forgiveness Forgiveness is one of those words that is routinely misused and misunderstood. For example: My own childhood abuse was something that I personally felt had wounded me and I could not let go of what had happened. I rejected the abuse because I was afraid if I accepted it, it would mean I believed I deserved the abuse. I finally realized that no amount of validation from others would give me the proof of my suffering better than me accepting it. I forgave my abuse by opening up my heart to fit it in there with love and belonging.
I could be abused as a child and I could also be loved as a child. I was trying to make them mutually exclusive because I believed the one canceled out the other. When I realized I could embrace both a newer truth revealed itself to me: I was wounded and what happened to me was wrong and that wound was also my gift. I can recognize that others wronged me and also take responsibility for my pain.
The ability to hold the paradox is part of the development that comes from forgiveness. Forgiveness is a paradox because by letting go you are also embracing. The Gift of the Wound How can a wound or pain be a gift? Here is an analogy: Think of yourself as a perfectly decorated room filled with just the sort of furniture you like and the colors on the ceiling and walls are your favorite colors. Everything you need is right here in this room. It is who you are. It has torn the expensive wallpaper and the sheet-rock is hanging out in clumps. It ruins the room and leaves you feeling exposed and afraid.
You gather all of your things and move them to a safer corner. You watch the hole constantly. Fear and anxiety become your constant companions. Then you wonder if anyone else has a hole in their wall and you decide that you are the only one who is ruined. That this hole cannot be fixed. You stop caring about yourself and you stop inviting others into your room because you are ashamed of it.
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You try to patch it up but the patch is just as ugly as the hole. This knowledge keeps you isolated and hungry for love. But one day, when the loneliness and the craving gets to be too much you venture over to the hole and peer inside. You feel afraid but you are also curious.
After a while you get the courage to go into this dark hole to explore.
Each time you enter you experience a terrifying sense of hopelessness and loss so you back out and retreat to your corner. So one day, you brave your way all the way through the darkness and you enter a hallway. All along this hallway are doors. Each door leads to a different room or space. Each one is uniquely you.
As you peek into these rooms you find huge bedrooms with fireplaces and stained glass windows, or libraries with books from ceiling to floor. Some rooms are airy arboretums with birds and butterflies, other rooms are places to eat and invite friends and family. These are all the rooms that are beyond the hole in the wall. But the only way to reach them is to go through the dark part and face the cold and the voices. But you did it once and you can do it again. In fact, you decide to turn your hole into an opening by cleaning up the edges and nailing on some finish molding around the sides.
When you are finished, it no longer appears to be a mistake, it is no longer a hole that was torn into your wall but a window or a doorway. While it remains dark you have the knowledge of what lies beyond that darkness. This is the gift of the wound. In the bathroom stall every single girl could see it. Luckily i told my mom and then she told my teacher and they got detention with the principal for a week.
So i started talking to him one day and my friend seen us so she stopped talking to me. She started spreading rumors about me. People us to beat me up after school. This went on for months until i told my father he went up to the school and told the principle. He suspended the kids now they don't mess with me anymore. If you are being bulled don't be afraid to tell an adult don't take matters into your hands don't let bullying happen if you see it tell an adult. That hurt a lot because I trusted this person.
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He verbally bullies me whenever he gets the chance. I don't want to tell my mom because she'll make a big deal about it.
I'm really getting hurt from this. Why does he have to be a wimp and say it online and not to my face? He'd be a man if he did. I had a MySpace page devoted to me. I thought for the longest time about killing myself, until one day I realized that god put me on this earth for a reason.. And killing myself wouldn't so any good.
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My bullies put signs in my yard. What killed me is the fact that the school could not do anything because it was done online.
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I will never get over this. Even though it happened a few years ago. I spoke to her mom and ask her to please make her stop. Well big mistake We will start counseling very soon, I'm afraid for my daughter safety, not sure how bad this is affecting her, and she tells me that she's trying to avoid them in school. This is a terrible experience that no child have to go thru. They say I'm pretty but i can't believe them. Last year i was being bullied by an 8th grader at my school. People would send me messages saying that I'm a disgrace i shouldn't be in this world. I've been bullied since i was in pre-school.
My sisters even make fun of me but they say that their just playing around. They don't think it doesn't hurt me but it does especially coming from my sisters, it makes me feel even worse. She would always try to make me jealous by hugging him or anything she could think of. One day she posted a bulletin on MySpace all about him and I told her she shouldn't talk about him like that.
She ended up harassing me online, calling me names.
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But when I went to school she would never say anything to my face, she denied ever saying anything to me when I confronted her in front of her friends. Then when I went back home she kept doing it over the computer. Her insults getting worse. Then I went to school and confronted her again and got in a fight. She hit me and I beat her up and now I don't know if that was the right thing to do. What else could I do? Found a website she belongs to called "Formspring". This is where anyone can even if you dont know them can post a comment to you or ask you a question.
Then you respond if you want.